Rip Rushed To Emergency Room

Rip Williams, self-styled “man of the hour,” was rushed to the hospital yesterday after his heart stopped. Williams was discussing the current economic crisis with a consultant when he collapsed.

The consultant Smith P. Smith was discussing what Williams has dubbed the “inherent bias of the elite media” when Smith offered this analysis: “If we’re on TV we’re part of a small percentage of people. We’re part of the elite.”

Williams countered by saying, “Well, I don’t see myself that way. I’m just one of the folks. A hard working guy, looking out for other hard working guys. You know? I don’t know what you’re on!” When Smith said it did not matter whether or not Williams identified as a member of the elite, he still was, Williams turned a bright red, accused Smith of twisting his words around and collapsed on his desk. He was rushed immediately to the ER

For nearly a decade now, Rip Williams has been a popular television personality and commentator. He attributes his success  to his middle-class roots. Currently, Williams makes over four million a year from his television program and book sales.

His program, the Rip-Roaring Hour, is a political talk show hosted by Williams who discusses current events and social issues with a variety of guests. It also features soft-news pieces, such as celebrity gossip. Williams is infamous for tackling controversial or sensitive issues in a blunt, no non-sense approach.

His catch-phrase “You’ve just been Ripped” has yet to catch on.

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