The Special

by Martin Baena

Characters: Mara, Dill, Waitress

Setting: A restaurant downtown

Lights up

Mara: … and does it come with another side?

Waitress: I’m sorry?

Mara: Does it comes with any other side?

Waitress: You can order any side you want.

Mara: But for the special…

Waitress: It comes with this side.

Mara: And only that one? You’re sure?

Waitress: That’s correct. Yes.

Mara: Come back to me.

Waitress: Very well. (To Dill) For you?

Dill: The special, please.

Waitress: Of course. (to Mara) Have you decided?

Mara: The special with a side of coleslaw, please.

Waitress: A special …and a side of coleslaw.

Mara: No, I’m sorry: the special with a side of coleslaw.

Waitress: You do not want the side special?

Mara: Just the coleslaw.

Waitress: Very well.

Mara: Are you going to charge me for the side?

Waitress: Yes, the side is extra.

Mara: It’s extra?

Waitress: Because it is not part of the special.

Mara: I don’t want the other side. Can you please just replace it?

Dill: It’s the special.

Mara: I know that. – I know that but could you just replace one side with the other for the special? Can you do that?

Waitress: Very well.

Mara: Thank you.

Waitress: I’ll be back with your drinks. (Exits)

Mara: Are they charging me extra for the side y’ think?

Dill: Yeah.

Mara: Really?

Dill: It’s not part of the special.

Mara: I know, I know but are they going to charge me extra?

Dill: Yes.

Mara: I’ll ask.

Dill: Hm.

Mara: Excuse me…

Waitress: (Enters with cocktails) Yes?

Mara: You’re charging the coleslaw separate?

Waitress: That’s right.

Mara: Then I don’t want it.

Waitress: No problem.

Mara: I’ll just have water.

Dill: Have something.

Mara: I’m not hungry.

Dill: It’s the special. It comes with the side.

Mara: I just can’t see why the cook can’t replace one for the other.

Dill: Coleslaw’s not part of the special.

Mara: I understand that. Excuse me; I understand it’s the special but it’s not to my taste.

Waitress: Yes.

Mara: If it’s not too much trouble could you switch it for something else?

Dill: Don’t have it. Have the special. Leave the side alone.

Mara: If I order the coleslaw will you share it with me?

Dill: Fine.

Waitress: The coleslaw’s extra. Is that okay?

Mara: Yeah

Waitress: And the other side?

Mara: That’s fine too. – Will you take it home with you?

Dill: Sure.

Mara: Okay

Waitress: And the drinks?

Mara: Thank you, yes.

Waitress: Thank you (Exits)

Mara: Will you have some?

Dill: I’ll have a bite.

Mara: We can split it.

Dill: You can take home whatever you don’t eat.

Mara: You don’t like coleslaw?

Dill: I like it fine.

Mara: I figure since you’re taking the other side home we could maybe split the cost.

Dill: Split the cost of what?

Mara: Of the coleslaw.

Dill: I said I’d have a bite.

Mara: Right

Dill: Only because you offered.

Mara: I thought you might want to share it.

Dill: No, mine comes with a side.

Mara: …and if you’re taking the other side home…

Dill: That’s okay.

Mara: I’m not going to have it. I don’t like it.

Dill: Sure.

Mara: It’ll go to waste.

Dill: It’s only a side.

Mara: You should take it home.

Dill: I’m not paying for the coleslaw.

Mara: No, of course not. Nor should you.

Dill: Alright.

Mara: But I figured…

Dill: What?

Mara: If we’re sharing the coleslaw you might want to chip in.

Dill: Uh-huh.

Mara: Are you?

Dill: Maybe.

Mara: Well, let me know if you want some. I’ll set some aside for you. – Do you want me to set some aside for you?

Dill: I think it might be too much. The special comes with its own side.

Mara: Right

Dill: Thank you for offering, though.

Mara: I’ll tell you what: I’ll set some aside. If you want some, have at it. Right?

Dill: Uh-huh

Mara: If you feel like. Standing offer.

Dill: Hm.

Mara: I don’t get it. How much of a problem is it to replace a side?  Look (switches cocktails) How hard is that? (switches cocktails back) Now the cocktails are an extra five bucks. How is that possible? (switches cocktails back and forth) What is that? What is that?

Dill: Hm.

Mara: (Switches cocktails) Who does that; It’s ridiculous. (Switches cocktails)

Dill: Which is mine?

Mara: Uhhh…

Dill: This one?

Mara: I’m dizzy. We should go, I’m not well…

Lights down

Creative Commons License
This work by Martin Baena is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.


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