Small Business Owner

by Martin Baena

Characters: Prophet, God

Setting: Mountain

—-

Lights up

Prophet: (enter) Hear me, O’ Lord, for I sing your praises. I have done as you asked of me and opened a restaurant. Every Thursday is all you can eat meatball night and I have prospered. I have taken a wife and she is with child. Truly, O’ Lord, you are the master of the universe. Thank you, Lord, thank you!

God: Sell your business.

Prophet: Lord?

God: Did I stutter?

Prophet: I will do as you command of me, Lord.

God: Will you really?

Prophet: Y-yes, Lord. I serve only you.

God: When you went unto your people, did I not say, “I shall give them a sign so they may know you are my prophet”?

Prophet: Oh yes, Lord!

God: And when I did not give the sign, were you not cast into the wilderness?

Prophet: Well…

God: And when you came crying like a little girl did I not ignore your plight?

Prophet: Umm…

God: And I ask of you: sell your business, leave your family.

Prophet: I shall do as you command.

God: And do you think this wise?

Prophet: Yes, Lord. For you are above all in wisdom.

God: (beat) You fear me?

Prophet: I fear thee.

God: Stand up.

Prophet: I humble myself before thee, O’ Lord.

God: Stand. Up.

Prophet (stands) Yes, O’ Lord.

God: Tell me to fuck off. (beat) I command thee.

Prophet: O’ Lord…

God: “Fuck off”

Prophet: F-fuck off.

God: Like you mean it.

Prophet: F.. Fuck off!

God: I shall smite thee. Prepare thyself!

Prophet (kneels, beat) I have prepared myself for your smiting, O’ Master of the Heavens, Most High. (beat) I am ready, O’ Lord. (looks around) Lord? Hello? (exits)

Lights down.

Creative Commons License
This work by Martin Baena is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

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