Setting: a three bedroom apartment, recently renovated, decorated with empty ramen wrappers, beer cans.
Characters: Jason, Andy, Clayton, and Sam. Early 30s, greying prematurely.
A living room: Andy and Clayton finish their tall cans as they prepare to depart while Sam sits at the edge of the couch, nursing a beer.
Andy: I swear to you…
Clayton: There’s no way…
Andy: I can get as blackout drunk, as blackout-fucking-drunk as anybody and still finish the beer. I will finish the beer.
Andy: It’s a fact.
Clayton: …how could you possible know that?
Sam: Man, life here’s so much better than St. Catherines.
Jason: [Enters with coat on] Time to go, boys…
Andy: It’s a fact. Don’t overreact, don’t overreact.
Clayton: There’s no way.
Andy: You can’t beat science.
Clayton [crosses to bedroom]: Anybody’s seen my shirt…?
Jason: Let’s go! C’mon already….
Sam: The women here…you know?
Sam: …like, you remember Jennifer?
Andy: That was a class lady.
Jason: Know where they got class girls? At the bar…
Sam: She was so hot and smart and she turned down a lot of guys so you know she wouldn’t cheat on you.
Sam: … she flat turned them down.
Jason: Uber’s here.
Sam: And that made her hotter. Because you know…
Andy: Damn straight
Sam: That she’s hot enough to say yes to all of them and she doesn’t.
Clayton: [reenters with shirt] There’s no way you remember, Andy.
Clayton: No way.
Andy: I’m telling you it’s science.
Sam: But you know what did it? I shouldn’t have moved back.
Jason: [exits] Let’s go, let’s go!
Sam: I should’ve stayed here.
Andy: Let’s go. Uber’s here.
Clayton: [exits] There’s no way. – Will you tell him…
Sam: I should’ve…
Andy: I know what you should do…
Sam:. … it’s my fault.
Andy: …you should forget her.
Andy: I’ll show.